… and when I say I don’t mind I mean I Really don’t mind. For the longest time I have just lost interest in boys, not because I was asexual or anything but because I didn’t feel good enough for any boy. This boy made me forget those fears, at least for a second.
Then they come rolling back in like a tidal wave of jagged icy spikes. Instead of walking up there and flicking my hair over my shoulder, smiling sweetly and asking for my usual order with confidence, I stand paralyzed by the door.
The previous hope the revolution song instilled in me is almost non-existent. Why did I let myself get so out of hand. I can’t talk to this guy who makes my heart thrum! I can’t ever have him, it will take years to get to a point where a guy like that will even give me a second glance and that’s if I start today.
I can start today! No I can’t. Yes I can! But i’ve said that before and never done it…
“Excuse me” says a man in a business suit as he moves past me and my large form blocking the door.
With my self deprecating thoughts interrupted I look at the counter. Then I look at my bag which is overfilled for my coffee shop day and sigh. I better just get it over with. Maybe he won’t be at cash?
I stand in line and before long it’s my turn. I look up and my cheeks heat as I see it’s the demi god at the cash. Just my luck.
“Hello Darling” he says with a southern drawl.
Oh good lord, kill me know. I was a goner for southern drawls.
“What can I get ya?” he asks
I look him square in the eye and focus on just being kind my usual policy. Well that and giving my order without drooling.
“Can I have a medium sized strawberry lemonade, a fudge bar, and a smoked bacon sandwich?” I ask
“Sure thing” he says with a wink. I wasn't planning on it but I find myself smiling at his charismatic personality.
He walks away from the cash, and my eyes widen slightly as I watch him hobble to the pastry display.
He had an honest to goodness peg leg! Did that give me a chance with him? Did thinking that last thought make me a horrible human being?
He comes back fudge bar in hand. I pull my eyes away a second too late and his bright smile drops a bit.
“Treasure hunting accident” he says with a sad glint in his eye. “Good things I also make a mean latte” He jokes with his smile back in place.
My cheeks blush at his comment. I felt horrible. “If it makes you feel any better my treasure hunting career was ended when I jumped into the treasure hunting raft and it sunk”
For a moment it’s dead silence between us. What did I just say!?
Then the demi god with a peg leg bursts out laughing. “To being awful pirates” he says as he hands me my fudge bar.
I grab it and give an awkward smile before I hurry out of there like the hounds of hell are at my heels. I go to the table in the most closed off corner, away from most peoples eyes and drop my tomato red face in my hands with a groan.
Why was I such a loser! I can’t believe I said that! I stir in my humiliation for another minute before I flip my laptop open and click on the Facebook link.
When they call the rest of my order, I get up, get it, and go back to my corner in record time. I spend a good hour mindlessly scrolling through websites and social media as my anxiety slowly starts to calm down. Good thing there was other a million other coffee shops in town and I didn’t need to see him anymore.
With that comforting thought I keep scrolling. A couple minute later my scrolling comes to as stop as I see the most perfect thing!
TO BE CONTINUED...